Pain in the Knee

Holy Hannah!

Pain in the knee!
Pain in the neck!
Pain in the….[Hey!]

Y’ know, this might sound a tadly-bit exaggerated, but I think, that when you express pain levels to a friend or even a doctor, for that matter, you have to go a bit over the top, to get some dedicated sympathy or at least some semblance of attention, other than, “Aw, I’m sorry to hear you say that.” – which is nice, word-wise, but where’s the beef, so to speak.

Otherwise, its like, ‘Yeah, yeah, yeah, take a few pills….and get on with it already!’
Another oft expression experienced was “…enough, or you’ll get more to gripe about!”
Never mind the punishing “boys/men dont cry.”
Pain is pain boyo!
It don’t matter what side of the fence you are on.

Ok, Its my fragile sensitivity showing through, looking for soothing comfort.
Sometimes, I feel a need to bleat!

My left knee feels like it might have had a really angry abscess under the knee cap, when the cap was cleaved off with a sledgehammer…round-house fashion!
By the dull end.

It must have flown through the air like a discus.

After crawling on hands and ‘knees’ for 50 feet over a mixture of broken glass, gravel and pine-cones, I retrieved said knee-cap from a thicket of thistles, stinging nettles and poison ivy…it was only half-submerged (lucky me) in a steaming fresh cow patty.

I considered it good karmic payback or a stroke of luck at least, in finding three, six inch railway tie-nails -albeit they were rusty- during my crawl back over the glass, gravel and pine-cone mix to where the sledgehammer was.

Yes Indeed, it hurt like hell to nail the cap back on!
Thanks for asking!

It took a number of good blows to secure the kneecap in place….and I ain’t no surgeon neither, so it was not all that precise.
The first few attempts at nailing it down, were not very successful. But you know what they say; “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.’ Well I was all but out of tries, when voila! There she be! Nice and firmly in place, solidly, I’m going to add. In fact it took me by surprise when I found that I had actually nailed my leg to the ground. Two of the nails had been hammered in too far…protruding out behind the knee and into a tree root below. After rolling my body for what seemed like ages, I finally released the nails from the tree root and was able to stand again….although somewhat a bit wobbly..

I am quite sure that this may have contributed to the pronounced limp that I have now acquired.

During my hike back home, at the 5 km point, the old cabin provided me the opportunity to ‘redress ‘my wound’. I found enough materials in the dusty old cabin to make a temporary poultice from a mixture of what seemed like old piss, vinegar, paint stripper, lemon juice and a wad of attic fiber glass. After stapling the poultice to the raw flesh and further securing it in place with barbed wire twisted tightly with a hand drill and a pair of pliers…the pain level reduced ..well…somewhat!

When I finally made it home, I jumped with glee at finding a ‘Portuguese man-of-war’ washed up on the beach….it made for a much softer tissue poultice than the itchy fiber glass wad….
Can I spell r-e-l-i-e-f?

A couple of pills helped too..

By the way, unless I can loosen up during yoga, karate and judo classes tonight, I doubt that I will be participating in the CN tower stair climb tomorrow…things are already starting to stiffen up.